a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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