So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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