Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Randomize
