The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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