He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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