My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
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