My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
So many bounce houses so little time
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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