is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
