Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
We have started to decorate penises.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
