i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Only a mothe r could love this liver
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
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