is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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