I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
