ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
