ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
