did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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