I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
try to milk me bitch
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