this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
