so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
