how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
