If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
