Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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