Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
