Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
