I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
