He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
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