There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
worst night to have a conscience
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
