I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
