It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I'm at about main and main street
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
