i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
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