I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize
