Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
tell your sister to shave her snatch
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
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