I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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