my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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