home. puking in laundry basket.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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