the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
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