He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
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