i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
