Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Randomize
