Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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