My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Drunk is not a location!
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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