Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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