Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Randomize
