I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
