Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
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