you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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