meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
