I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
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