All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Randomize
