I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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