He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
