You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
