There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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